Seasons

So lately I have been reading a lot of blogs and articles about seasons, and thinking about Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 about how everything has a season and a time. Right now my season involves little people, a lot of little people!! Sometimes I look around and I can't believe I have four kids!! For the past four years I have been in between pregnancies and newborns, and now, unless God says otherwise we are done having children, so now its like, wow I have to raise all these children!! I find myself wafting between, its too much I can't do it, to wow I can't believe how privileged I am! It's so amazing how different they all are, in looks, personality, how they communicate and interact with each other and me, and of course how they respond to conflict. With three boys you can bet there is a lot of pushing and shoving going on, I'm interested to see how my little girl will respond especially since she is the youngest. So right now with four little kids there is a lot of screaming, hitting, crying, diapers, messes and accidents, and sometimes I look around and I'm like what the heck was I thinking this is crazy!! And of course I know I am not the only mother who thinks this, especially those who stay at home, if we are honest we probably think that a couple times a day! At least I do, but then I look at them and I am amazed by the things they will say and I'm like wow they were actually listening to me! And watching them grow, I can't believe my baby is almost six months already and its amazing how fast they develop in such a short time, and of course my oldest he's pushing seven and I keep thinking when did he become a little boy? Wasn't he just a toddler? Of course, I am by no means exclusive in these thoughts and emotions, I'm sure every mother has them, but I find as I grow older the responsibility becomes so much more intimidating. I always tell my husband, its so much more than taking care of them, anyone can do that, can feed them and dress them and change them, but raising them, that's the hard part, and right now in my season its soo crucial. I think for me at least, it was like oh yea, I want them to be homeschooled and I want them to be responsible and I want them to be Christians and God-fearing men and woman, just one woman :). But for whatever reason I thought I don't know you do that when they are older, middle school or high school, but no its now, when they are little, you have to lay that foundation, for if not now when? And if you don't do it someone else will. So its not just teaching them to pick up toys, or wash dishes, or hold the pencil right or learn their colors, or potty train them, you have to teach them about life about God and it starts so young and I'm amazed at some of the things they will say and understand. So I do talk to my kids about sin, and the cross and Jesus, I do talk to them about dying, and that someday they will and I fight the tears and force a smile as I do, because if they know Christ as I hope they will, its not a sad thing. Sometimes I feel like I'm too strict or talk about things that are too "heavy" and I think I expect too much, but they always rise to the occasion and when my three year old sits on the couch next to me and curls up beside me and looks up with a huge smile on his face and says "Mommy, I want to die and see God." All I can do is give him a huge hug and pray that he will and that he always looks at with that joy. So this is my season, a trying time, a messy time, sometimes an intimidating time but such a blessed time.