C-Sections: My Experiences, Opinions, and Emotions Concerning Them

C-Sections, there are so many opinions and thoughts concerning this from many sides, mothers, doctors, women who have had them, women who haven't etc, I have been thinking a lot on them, as I have had four, my last baby is only seven months so it wasn't too far away that I had my last one and also everyone around me seems to be pregnant! Which is of course awesome! So I thought I would share my thoughts on C-sections and my experiences with them.

 Now I will start this off by saying that in some cases C-sections are a necessity and they can and do save lives both baby and mother so they should never be labeled as totally wrong and unwarranted because sometimes things do not always go as planned during birth. Personally in my experience I felt that all of my C-sections were completely unwarranted and were simply a detriment to myself and my babies but as I said before this is simply my opinion. For starters I should say that I never even gave C-sections a single thought, because I honestly never even considered it a possibility that I would ever have one, it was only after my cousin mentioned to me at my baby shower that C-sections had improved in the way they were performed that I ever gave them any thought. Of course I had no idea at the time that I would be getting my first one just three weeks later.

 My first C-section was considered an emergency, my first baby came about two weeks before his due date. I had gone in for my weekly appointment, which is commonplace after thirty-six weeks, and at that appointment, they thought his heart rate sounded "stressed" so I went to the hospital and they listened to his heart rate for another hour or so and they concluded that baby was in distress, his heart rate just didn't sound right to them, but they had no idea what the problem could be, especially since I had had a very healthy pregnancy. I was only one centimeter dilated and they did not want to try to induce since they thought it would take too long to get to the full ten, and apparently baby needed out now. They originally thought that my placenta was infected, don't ask me how they came to that conclusion, so off they rushed me to the OR, now since everything was rushed there really wasn't an explanation of what was going on, so I of course was freaking out, even more so when it took about three times to get the needle in for the spinal block, which I will spare you my diatribe on that. So after they finally got that situated they quick brought my husband in and got the baby out rather quick, however everyone got to see him but me. I never saw him till after I was in the recovery room and you can bet how angry I was about that! So after I finally had him in the recovery room, they took him to the NICU because he wasn't able to keep food down, so after numerous x-rays and sugar water feedings intravenously it was determined that there was nothing wrong with him. Of course I found out later that C-section babies don't get all the mucus pushed out of them, because they aren't squeezed out through the birth canal so this is a common problem, also as it turns out, my oldest had reflux and a lot of stomach issues so all of that NICU was totally unnecessary.

 My second baby I was completely determined to have a VBAC, I had talked to my gynecologist about it right off the bat, and she was completely okay with it, however during that pregnancy my husband was deployed and I was staying with my parents so they could help when the new baby came. However, everyone around me was nervous and thought a VBAC was the wrong decision so in the end I ended up doing an elective scheduled C-section which went very well but when the baby came out, he had a lot of what looked like ulcers on both his arms, and this being the same hospital that I had had my first baby at, they immediately rushed him to the NICU because they feared he had a disease. Which of course he did not, but he ended up spending an extra week or so in the hospital which of course caused many problems, because they wouldn't let any one hold him and I couldn't nurse him. So I had to pump, which is not the best scenario when its your first time attempting to nurse,  and as it turned out the marks that they were so concerned about were simply sucking marks from him sucking on his arms in utero.

 My third baby I was again determined to have a VBAC and I did go into labor after waiting over forty weeks but because this was my third baby and after having two previous C-sections only a specific hospital would allow me try to have a  VBAC and of course that hospital was an hour away. So as it turned out I ended up at the local hospital, which was a different one than my previous two, and of course ended up with another C-section. However, this was the first time that I had ever had the baby in the room with me the whole time, and after he was born the nurse immediately brought him over to me so I could see him and because it was just me in the OR, my husband was again deployed, they kept him in there with me until I was ready to go the recovery room and I held him as I went back to the recovery room. So all in all that experience was much better as I had my baby with me the whole time.

 My final baby was a planned C-section for the obvious reason that I had had three previous ones. However, the hospital I went to which was again a different one, was very laid back and really did try to make it as pleasant an experience as they could. My husband was here for our last one, which was our only girl, and again after she was born, they brought her immediately over so that I could see her, and this was the first time that my husband got to be involved in any way with the birth, he got to cut the cord for our daughter and he was thrilled with it, it was such an amazing and special experience for him. Also my daughter was the only one that I received an epidural and not a spinal block for, which I find the epidural to be far superior to the spinal block. It comes on much more gradually and fades away faster. I also should point out that the reason I had four children in three different hospitals was due to the fact that my husband was in the military.

For me having C-sections has always been a very negative thing, especially as I have been planning my home birth since age nine, to have so much medical interference is so unnatural to me and I believe in many ways it hinders your postpartum recovery and since the baby does not go through the natural stages of birth, being pushed through the birth canal, rather they are simply pulled out, they lose benefits as well, one little example is the mucus problem I described with my eldest. All four of my children experienced that and it may seem like a minor thing, but when your baby is turning blue because mucus is caught in his throat and you have just been cut open and you are struggling to get to him in his bassinet to get that mucus out, suddenly it doesn't seem so little. I am no doctor though so if you are interested please research the benefits of natural birth for yourselves, I always learn something new when I do, it is so fascinating how God designed the human body. For me personally I have had to deal with a lot of guilt in the fact that I have had C-sections because I so wanted a natural birth and there is a feeling of failure when the word C-section comes along, like somehow you are taking the easy way out getting a C-section.  Even though I have never had a natural birth, I have always believed that the C-section is the harder option, a woman's body is designed to go through birth but no ones body is designed to be cut open. However, in the end I have four beautiful, healthy, amazing children and I know that the way the entered this world is trivial in the long run but pregnancy and birth are a huge part of a woman's life, and if you have had C-sections and you are struggling with those feelings of guilt and shame, know that you are not alone, and even though people might tell you, who cares how the baby came, its healthy, your healthy so what's the problem?? Which then of course make you feel all the worse, know that again you are not alone, and even though you might not be able to relate to any of the mothers with their labor and birth stories, all the mothers out there that have had C-sections, we can relate and we know what its like and its a big deal!! And for me personally I have really been trying to trust God that He knew I was going to have C-sections for whatever reason, and even though it wasn't in my plan it was in His and He always knows best and if that's what was meant for me then I am trying to be A-Okay with that!! So I know this was super long and rambling and detailed but if you hung in here to the end, I hope it helped you and encouraged you whether you've had a C-section or not. And to all the pregnant mammas who are reading this, Congrats on your pregnancy and whatever kind of birth you have I wish you luck and lots of joy with your new little bundle of joy!!

Summer Fashion Favorites

So I should put a disclaimer here, I am by no means a fashion expert, this is just my opinion on what I like to wear, pieces that I think are comfy, stylish and versatile. The jean capris that I talk about are from Target,  they are the Denizen from Levi brand and are $24.99, which I know is a little pricey but they really are worth it, if you are looking to invest in a piece that you can wear for pretty much most of the seasons. The white t-shirt is also from Target it is from the Mossimo line, and it is around $9.00, although it is frequently on sale for around $7.00. The teal skirt is from Ann Taylor Loft, but I found it on Thred-Up in the clearance section for around $8.00. The graphic tee is from Maurices and I found it on clearance for around $8-10.00, I love that graphic tee, it is so fun, it just livens up your look. The black sleeveless shirt, the patterned black and grey scrunched t-shirt and the dark wash jeans are from Express, the shirts were on clearance, I forget exactly how much they were, but the jeans are around $70-80.00 which is A LOT for jeans, but when I got them, it was buy one full price get the second pair for $20.00 and I have to say it was totally worth it, the most I have ever and probably will ever spend on jeans but they are the best, but then again they should be for that much!! The Mamma Bear shirt is from Loved by Hannah and Eli and they are $35.00. The blue striped dress and the teal t-shirt is from the Merona line at Target, I got them on sale, the dress was $15.00 and the shirt was around $8.00. The black t-shirt is from Old Navy and it was $5.00. The red flower patterned dress is from Guam, but there are dresses similar at any store, I'm sure. Most of the shoes I talked about I had previously talked about in my Thred-Up video, but the brown strappy sandals and the gladiator sandals are from Target, the strappy sandals were around $25.00 and the gladiators were around $20.00 but when I got them, they were buy one get one fifty percent off. So that's all the information I have on the clothes, but of course if you are interested in any of the pieces I showed, you of course can get them anywhere you like to shop, that's just where I got mine for a point of reference. Also, there are so many ways you can wear a single piece, these are just some of the ideas I came up with, so maybe it gave you an idea on a different way to use some of your favorite pieces. I hope you enjoy and please tell me some of things you like to wear, I am always looking for good suggestions!

Favorites

So lately I have been trying out a lot of new products, which I love, so I thought I would share some of them, so are new, some are old but all are favorites. Some of the products I talk about like the eyeliner I have had for a while but other things like the in-shower lotion is a new find and a fast favorite. I love hearing about other peoples favorites because there is always a least one item that you haven't heard of and your like hmm I'll have to keep that on the list and try that some time, so anyway I hope you enjoy and maybe find something that you haven't heard of that you might want to try.

Planning

So today I decided to check out what all the buzz was about concerning all this Erin Condren planners, stickers etc, yea needless to say I get it. I had a coupon code for their items and I was like oh well I will just look I mean I'm not actually going to use it, then I saw the planners that you could custom with your own pictures, and then I saw that they already had a sale going on, and then I remembered my coupon, and then I started picking out pictures. So you see where this is going, fortunately my husband is very organized and love lists and planners so he thought it was a great idea, to him there is no such thing as too much organization, so here I am now, order completed and wanting ice cream. I know weird combination but that's how I roll. In case you want to be like me and check out what all the hype is I have a coupon code for you so I will not be the only sucked in. :)

https://www.erincondren.com/referral/invite/bethwilliams0120

Snacks AKA How I get my kids to eat healthy

So like any mom I am always trying to get my kids to eat healthy and of course my goal is not that they eat it but that they like it and that it tastes good, I know high aspirations right? Although I have had some successes with dinners, I have found my highest success comes with snacks, I think it helps though that the preconceived notion the kids have for snacks is that they taste good and they are a treat, so I have been using that to my advantage of course. So along with making various types of granola and smoothies lately I have been utilizing our new snack subscription box, UrthBox. It is a monthly box that specializes in healthy snacks that are supposed to taste good, I was a little wary at first but I have to say the claim is true and my kids ate almost the whole box themselves, little do they that they are consuming healthy yummies, such as roasted seaweed, quinoa bars etc. So this video gives a sample of the kinds of things UrthBox has and some of the things my hubby and I have been loving as well. Speaking of snacks we are actually out now so guess who has to make some more? Yep, that's me, so I'm off to replenish our supply, hope you enjoy and get some new ideas to try.

Thred-UP

So lately I have been exploring the world of online shopping and I have to say, I have been LOVING it!! So recently I discovered the site Thred-UP, which is basically an online consignment store which seems to specialize in more higher end clothing, like Anne Taylor, Michael Kors, BCBG, etc, they have women's clothing, shoes, purses and children's clothing. So in the past three months I have made about three purchases and I have been impressed with what I have bought, it says it is gently used clothing but most of the clothing and shoes I have gotten look like they are brand new. Also the prices are very reasonable, easily comparable to like Marshalls or TJMaxx, which are good stores but the benefit of online is you don't have to search it is already pre-sorted which I really appreciate. So this just gives a sample of the kind of clothing Thred-UP has, lately I have gotten rid of about at least 80% of my clothing, it was time, I'm done being pregnant and a lot of the clothes I got when I was a teenager, so it has really been helping me rebuild my adult wardrobe. Wow! That is so weird saying that, adult wardrobe, woo hoo! Hahaha. Well I'm off, Little Elf wants to sit with me, gotta steal that moment while I can!! :)

Seasons

So lately I have been reading a lot of blogs and articles about seasons, and thinking about Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 about how everything has a season and a time. Right now my season involves little people, a lot of little people!! Sometimes I look around and I can't believe I have four kids!! For the past four years I have been in between pregnancies and newborns, and now, unless God says otherwise we are done having children, so now its like, wow I have to raise all these children!! I find myself wafting between, its too much I can't do it, to wow I can't believe how privileged I am! It's so amazing how different they all are, in looks, personality, how they communicate and interact with each other and me, and of course how they respond to conflict. With three boys you can bet there is a lot of pushing and shoving going on, I'm interested to see how my little girl will respond especially since she is the youngest. So right now with four little kids there is a lot of screaming, hitting, crying, diapers, messes and accidents, and sometimes I look around and I'm like what the heck was I thinking this is crazy!! And of course I know I am not the only mother who thinks this, especially those who stay at home, if we are honest we probably think that a couple times a day! At least I do, but then I look at them and I am amazed by the things they will say and I'm like wow they were actually listening to me! And watching them grow, I can't believe my baby is almost six months already and its amazing how fast they develop in such a short time, and of course my oldest he's pushing seven and I keep thinking when did he become a little boy? Wasn't he just a toddler? Of course, I am by no means exclusive in these thoughts and emotions, I'm sure every mother has them, but I find as I grow older the responsibility becomes so much more intimidating. I always tell my husband, its so much more than taking care of them, anyone can do that, can feed them and dress them and change them, but raising them, that's the hard part, and right now in my season its soo crucial. I think for me at least, it was like oh yea, I want them to be homeschooled and I want them to be responsible and I want them to be Christians and God-fearing men and woman, just one woman :). But for whatever reason I thought I don't know you do that when they are older, middle school or high school, but no its now, when they are little, you have to lay that foundation, for if not now when? And if you don't do it someone else will. So its not just teaching them to pick up toys, or wash dishes, or hold the pencil right or learn their colors, or potty train them, you have to teach them about life about God and it starts so young and I'm amazed at some of the things they will say and understand. So I do talk to my kids about sin, and the cross and Jesus, I do talk to them about dying, and that someday they will and I fight the tears and force a smile as I do, because if they know Christ as I hope they will, its not a sad thing. Sometimes I feel like I'm too strict or talk about things that are too "heavy" and I think I expect too much, but they always rise to the occasion and when my three year old sits on the couch next to me and curls up beside me and looks up with a huge smile on his face and says "Mommy, I want to die and see God." All I can do is give him a huge hug and pray that he will and that he always looks at with that joy. So this is my season, a trying time, a messy time, sometimes an intimidating time but such a blessed time.